Since you can’t sleep


Have a gif of Misha reading a bedtime story,



A comic about my sleeping process

Laying in bed, staring out my window at the full moon…

Laying in bed, staring out my window at the full moon…

I Slept.

I didn’t think I would, I was so anxious that one of the boys would wake up and I wouldn’t hear them… but I slept.  That bed was really comfy.  I slept for 3 hours before I woke up the first time.  Then I slept another hour, woke up, then another 2 hours before the older boy woke up at 5:30am.  I knew he would be up early, but I actually was surprised he slept that late.  And I thought he would freak out because I was here and not his Mom, but I talked to him before bed and told him I would be here.  And he was fine.  That was a relief.

Now we are sitting on the couch in our jammies and he’s watching cartoons while I’m reading Little Numbers.  Shut up, I can’t stop.  It gives me all the feels.

Kids are asleep.  I’m gonna pick up the house really quick, wash my face, get in my pajamas and lay down and hope I can relax enough to sleep for a few hours.  The mom said the older boy wakes up randomly in the night and sometimes won’t go back to sleep… I hope both of us can sleep tonight…

Yes it’s 10pm on a Saturday night and I am going to bed.


The Machinist (2004)


The Machinist (2004)


Seriously.  When will it end?  

Just a few months ago I would hit the pillow, close my eyes and within minutes be asleep for the whole night.  Mind you I was up late and had to be up early, but my body would shut down and sleep almost immediately after getting into bed.

Now?  Every little thing that bothers me will keep me up, and then keep waking me up throughout the night.  Nightmares as well.

Last night was crappy.  Stressful night with a friend.  I climbed in bed at 3:30am with my alarm set for 7:30am and I couldn’t relax enough to get to sleep.  I was awake until about 4:15am and then finally got to sleep only to wake up every 15 - 20 minutes, freaking out until 7:30am when my alarm went off.  

I am currently babysitting overnight for a family.  I know I won’t be able to sleep, worrying about the kids waking up and me not hearing them.  When I get off tomorrow I am going to go home and climb in bed for the rest of the day.  I hope I can relax.  I’m so anxious over this thing with my friend.  My chest is tight and I keep grinding my teeth.  

Sleep.  I miss you.

Insomnia sucks. I can’t wait to be done with work. I have the hardest time falling asleep at night, and when I finally do fall asleep I either have a nightmare that wakes me up and riles me up… Or I wake up every few mins freaking out that I am oversleeping my alarm. I just want to be done with work so I can get some sleep for a little while. Who knows if that will happen. My schedule is filling up fast. A trip to North Carolina to visit family with my Mom, and possibly a week at a summer camp… Omg. So excited.

What I am really looking forward to though, is not having that moment at work everyday where my chest gets tight and I start having trouble breathing. Is that an anxiety attack? It’s been a daily occurrence for about two weeks now.

Two more weeks to go.